Compliment Denied.

19 Jul

Ever have one of those days where when someone gives you a compliment, you don’t believe them? Well that explains how I feel most of the time.

When my family prays over me or my grandparents explain why they are so proud, I feel I don’t deserve it. It seems sometimes like they give me credit for things I haven’t done. Or they praise me even though I feel I could have done better.

And I hate that feeling. I spent most of my high school life trying to become more accepting of my mind and body….to have those feelings that I don’t deserve a “Well done, Sam” hurts. Like all of the time I spent bringing myself up, it just wasted away because I am unable to accept a compliment.

What is wrong here?

Do I subconciously not appreciate myself?

I did some serious thinking about it.

Then I came to a conclusion. I help out around the house, smile at everyone, and I just am a generally nice person. It’s not something I work at and most of the time, because this was a trait I was born with, I believe that I always could do more to help out.

When my mother was sick once, I washed and folded all of the laundy in the room. When she saw this, she was in shock and cried. She said I was amazing and have me a hug. For me, it was just another chore, I did it because it needed to be done…so getting praised for doing it was weird for me.

I don’t know if I even make sense….

But before I start college this August, it’s going to be my goal to learn to accept the compliments and believe them. Because I am awesome, loving, and compassionate.

Thoughts? Are you like me in that way? Or are you so confused on what I’m trying to get across.

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